The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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