Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
