Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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