I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
