I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
