ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He better not be in your backpack
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
