Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
