just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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