I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
