she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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