If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
