Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
