If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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