I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
