We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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