so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
