So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
