That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
