she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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