My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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