I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Operation Purity has been aborted
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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