I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
