do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize