Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
