why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
