I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
