Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Floor bacon is actually really good
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
