your room smells of hookers.
And success
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
