I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
