pop tarts are not kleenex
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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