I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
