what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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