so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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