Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
