i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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