Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
