More tranny stories later!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
