there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
