wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
