In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
