He is an equal opportunity slut.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
