Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
