Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
