I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
