I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
