Soap is not a condiment
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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