Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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