Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
