I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
