these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
