I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
