I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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