Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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