I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Found your dick twin last night
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
