mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
