So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
