She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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