even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
