xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
