you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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