My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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